The other day I had one of those mornings. The kids were jumping around like monkeys hopped up on Mt. Dew, the dog had an accident and pulled an entire roll of toilet paper around the house, and an entire jug of Sunny D spilled on the kitchen floor. This was all before 8am. As I was trying to clean up the mess (Ok I let the dog drink the Sunny D off the floor. One less mess right? get the kids ready, make breakfast, sign permission forms. I got a text from my husband "Honey I accidentally took your truck keys to work, sorry" Of all the mornings it was now 8:37 and I had to finish getting everyone ready so when the oldest got on the bus the leftover and I could leave for an appointment all the way in St. Paul. I wish I could say I took a deep breath and said "oh no honey don't worry I will figure it out. I love you and have a great day!" Nope I said some very hurtful words to my husband that morning. I have no idea where they came from I do know the minute I said them I knew that I had hurt him and I had no way of taking it back. It was a stark realization how hurtful words can be. The tongue is so small. It holds astonishing powers. It can encourage, strengthen and brighten one's day. It can also tear down, and crush other people.
The guilt sat in my stomach for the day. I was reminded of the old saying I heard as a child and said many times to bullies "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me." I know from personal experience that this the furthest thing from the truth and I will never teach my children this. I have memories of growing up and people saying terrible things to me because our family was poor. I actually had a bus driver tell me "Primmer, you will never amount to anything!" That sat with me and still does. Although I have become much more than she thought I would be and then some. There are times when I think about those words, and have to remind myself that I am a child of God worthy of being loved and accepted for who I am.
Isn't that who we all are? Aren't we all worthy of being loved for where we are at. The next day after this foot in mouth situation I was at Target. It was 7:30 and there was only two lanes open! I stood there holding my tongue seriously only two lanes! I noticed that one of the lanes closed and the cashier cleaned up and left. Now I was really tapping my foot. I noticed the same cashier that closed had jumped on another lane to help with a couple people. She did not turn her light on. I looked the the left and right and sprinted over to the register. Who cares that her light wasn't on. I said to her as I got the the front "Wow must be shift change" trying to make conversation. She snapped "Nope, that is just the way it is. There is nobody else here." Now my first instinct was to say something obnoxious about how grumpy she was. But I remembered my promise to myself just one day earlier to be more aware of the words that I use. I simply took a deep breath. As I was leaving I turned to her and said "thank you for stepping up and helping get the line down even though your shift was over" She smiled at me and said "Oh no problem its my last day anyway." She had a reason to be annoyed. It was her last day at Target, and she was one of the only cashiers during a very busy time. We just don't know what is going on with people. Why they may seem a bit grumpy, or may glare and not smile. Who knows what their day has been like or what their life at home is like. I do know that something as little a "thank you" Or smile can brighten their day. My challenge to myself is to be more aware of the words I say. To take the gift of gab that the Lord has blessed me with and use it to lift others up, even when I feel they don't deserve it because everyone deserves to be lifted up and not torn down.
"We all stumble in many ways. Those who are never at fault in what they say are perfect, able to keep their whole body in check.
When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal.
Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of even among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of one's life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell."
James 3:6
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